Throughout most of my book, The Ultimate Gentleman: The Handbook 2.0, I share traits and characteristics of good men. However, when I talk about the traits and characteristics of women I get a little nervous. So for the gentleman who is unsure if he should take the marriage step, consider these traits and characteristics of a lady.
Here are 10 ways to know that the lady you're with is the one you should marry.
She's an intellectual challenge. If you want to spend the rest of your life with a woman, it is important that you find her intellectually challenging. Looks are deceiving, but personality is forever. Your conversations should be interesting, insightful and full of depth. Your lady should be able to challenge your opinions, opening up your mind to new ideas and concepts.
She's emotionally stable. The woman you choose to marry should be stable emotionally. If you struggle to predict her mood and responses, you may find yourself carrying the burden of her emotions. She shouldn’t transform into a more difficult person after a few months together; she should be fully honest about her feelings and emotional state.
She's empathetic. If you think she’s the one, then make sure she is compassionate and supportive towards others and their struggles. You will have days when you are down or upset. Your wife should be the main one supporting and relating to you during these times.
She's honest. Honesty is a very important trait in a long-term relationship. If you can’t trust your lady, how can you tell her anything in confidence or believe anything she says to you? Find someone who respects you enough to be honest with you, even when it is difficult for them.
She has ambition. As well as supporting your dreams and goals, the lady you marry should have her own dreams and ambitions. She plans for the future and how to improve her life. She can be independent yet willing to share and involve you in her success.
She has similar values. More often than not, our value system comes from our family upbringing. The things we find important (or not), the things we believe in strongly (or not), the way we treat others and ourselves can be huge factors in a relationship. It doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone or even how well you get along, if your values don’t align, you will always be clashing in the long term.
She's not petty or jealous. Some jealously is natural in relationships, but the woman you marry should be secure enough in herself and you to know she doesn’t need to feel jealous. This also has a lot to do with trust; she should be able to trust you enough to give you your freedom.
She's giving. A healthy, stable relationship focuses on giving rather than receiving. Seeing your lady happy should make you just as happy. Your joy should be her joy—it can be as simple as asking about your day or looking after you when you are sick. As time passes, the excitement at the beginning of the relationship will pass. However, both of you should be focused on meeting each other’s needs.
She inspires you. Admiring your partner and her attitude should motivate you to be a better version of yourself. From going to the gym, to volunteering at a charity, you should want to be the best version of yourself for her and yourself. A good woman will empower those around her. She will strive for greatness and therefore inspire others to strive for it as well.
She can cook or at least wants to learn. The woman you marry loves not only to cook, but chooses delicious and healthy meals. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all, right?
Checkout The Ultimate Gentleman: The Handbook 2.0, for more tips and suggestions on how to bring back the lost art of being a gentleman.